Entry 9

Jon's mother is a lovely woman and she raised a wonderful son. Even with that I am pretty uncomfortable talking to her alone. I never had an "adult" relationship with my mother so I don't exactly know how to respond to her motherly overtures. But like I said, she's a lovely woman. I'm glad she came into the book store to see the Hemingway book we had. She seemed excited and I hope she didn't buy it just to appease me.

Once she'd bought the book, then she dropped the bombshell about the lawn party. I am so nervous about the whole thing... what if I dress all wrong or eat with the wrong fork? Jon just laughed and said there would probably be just finger food. Well, I guess I'll soon find out!

Alaria has friends that are just as lovely as she is. The lawn party was pleasant and the food was... nice. It wasn't what I would have picked but it was delicate and spring-like and very... Alaria.

Jon showed me the house... it' s beautifully decorated, everything tailored, matching and in its place. I couldn't help but feel a little sad as we walked through the big place. It felt like the house should have been filled with children and yet... there was only Jon. Didn't having such a large home make Alaria's heart feel just a bit empty? I watched Jon as he led me through the rooms but he didn't seem to feel it. Maybe you can't miss what you never had...

Samantha