Entry 6

Holy mama, I am in trouble! What am I going to wear?! I’ve looked through my closet forty-seven times and have about ten outfits strewn across my bed. You’d think I was a fifteen year old going on her first date. This is not my first date, but it sure feels like it! I can’t think... I can’t breathe, I’m in so much trouble!

No, no, no, I am fine and I’ll just pick the first thing lying on top of my bed. No wait, those pants make my legs look short and dumpy. And that shirt is too short, it shows off the horrible pooch I have. Maybe I should wear a skirt. Oh man, what if I show up wearing a skirt and he’s wearing jeans? It’s not like we’re going out to a restaurant that has a dress code! I should have asked him if we were going casual or not. Shoot. There must be something in this closet that looks not-too-casual but not-too-formal. Where, where could my perfect outfit be hiding? Darnit, I’m going to be late if I don’t hurry up.

Why does it feel like my own dog is laughing at me? There she sits, on my bed, staring at me as if I had lost my mind. Maybe I have... maybe I’ve finally gone off the deep end, all over a casual dinner date. There’s that word again, ‘casual’. This is ridiculous... that’s it, I’m going with the purple outfit. It will have to do.

Now where are those damn panty hose?

What an amazing apartment, what an amazing evening, what an amazing man! I can’t believe that I am really living this! It has to be a dream... but I can still feel his kiss lingering on my lips. This one was so much more than the one at the park, not that it had been bad in any way! But no, this one... it was an incredible mingling of breaths, of air, of heat. Whew, I am getting all sweaty just thinking about it!

So he kissed me and I panicked! I was so sure that he pulled away from me because he couldn’t stand the thought of kissing someone who looks like me. And then... and then... he said those things! He made me feel so special, so cherished, with just a few words. How am I going to sleep? I’m afraid that if I close my eyes, it will all disappear like a beautiful, incredible dream.

With great fondness,
Samantha