Entry 3

I guess it wasn’t such a great impression. He hasn’t called. Guess I shouldn’t be surprised. He was in such good shape and I looked like a frump in my old jeans. Men like him never go for women like me. I should just be happy with what I have... my job, my house, my dog. It may not be the best life or the life that everyone wants to live, but it’s my life and I have to live it.

As if my day couldn’t get any worse... I’m all bummed out that Jon never bothered to call me, even to just let me know he was okay, and I end up staying late at the book store because some woman couldn’t make up her mind about a book! Yeesh. But then, I got home and even though I was ready to just plop down on the bed, dear old Molly whined at me and batted her big brown puppy-eyes until I gave him. Every day she reminds me that life is worth living... that I’ve worked hard for what I have and I should enjoy it.

So I was all pumped up and walked to the park with Molly, where Jon found me out of breath and sprawled out on the ground. What a sight I must have been! I’m surprised he didn’t go running in the other direction. But no, he had actually been looking for me. He said he tried to call, but that there was no answering machine at the number I’d given him ... which is true. I don’t like the darn things so I never bothered to buy one. Anyway, he brought me dinner at the park... hoagies, soda, yummy coleslaw and pieces of chocolate layer cake. So what did I do? I ate his food... his peace offering, and then I treated him like dirt. I took off with barely a word and was hardly out of sight before I burst into tears. How could he even want to spend time with me? I’m such a fat frump and he’s just so... so beautiful! And oh Lord, I can’t even begin to think about the kiss! What is wrong with me?!

Samantha