Entry 1

It's my day off from the book store and what am I doing? Standing here, staring at the contents of my closet for thirty minutes. I'm somewhat appalled that I've worn the same pair of black pants to work over and over again, just swapping out a blouse or adding a jacket or vest. I wonder if May or June has noticed? Not that they notice much, their noses are so buried in their books. But they are kind women who gave me a chance when I came to them with no skills whatsoever. Without them, I would never have been able to get a loan for my car or start socking away the money that now pays my mortgage.

Man, I've got to get some new clothes, at least to add something to my closet. I guess I'd better run out and pick some things up before the day gets away from me. I could put off shopping forever... I hate going into those stupid stores. It seems like all they offer is blouses with big flower prints and dresses that a grandma would turn her nose up at.

Well, that was so unpleasant I could just curl up and die. Not only do I have to shop in a special store that caters to my size, but I have to deal with a woman small enough to fit her entire body into one of my pant legs. Not that she was surly or unhelpful, but I didn’t need to have her staring at me while I picked out my tent-size dress. Okay, so it’s not tent-size, but to her it must seem like a car cover! Why don’t they have plus-size women working in stores that cater to plus-size women? The least they can do is make us comfortable while they’re charging us double the price for clothes that aren’t half as nice as those made for our thinner sisters.

At any rate, I did get some nice clothes to add to my closet. The dress that the saleslady picked out for me was pretty nice... not something I’d expect to be able to wear. The colors were all washed out and it was a sweater-set type of thing. I never wear stuff like that, but it actually looked pretty good. And I thanked her for it, but what did I get? A not-so-subtle push toward the exercise clothes. Does she think I’m daft? That I wouldn’t notice her backwards insult? Sheesh. The problem remains, I have few choices for affordable clothing and so I have to just keep my mouth shut and go where I have to go to get the clothing that fits.

Samantha